Overwhelmed and Living in a Mess

Life is so hectic right now.

I feel like all we do is go here and go there and then rush home, go to bed, then get up and do it all over again.

There has been very little time here lately for us to just sit and relax and enjoy our home.

I will be the first to admit that I am not the most tidy of people. I am not the greatest housewife that ever graced this Earth and I will never claim to be. We live in our house, and you can tell that when you walk through our doors.

But I am struggling with it here lately. I can barely keep up with the things that HAVE to be done (laundry, dishes, giving my kids baths), much less do the things that I consider "niceties" (vacuuming, cleaning the toilets, actually putting up the kids clothes). I come home everyday to toys being scattered around the living room, the kids rooms, my room, the kitchen...pretty much the whole house. My kids have WAY TOO MANY TOYS. I will blame it on my mother, for that is easiest to do. (not really, just wanted to get a reaction out of her). My dining room table has so many newspapers, journal articles, junk mail, magazines, crayons, coloring pages, and who knows what else on it that it makes me crazy!

Most days I have to wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen BEFORE I can cook. Now that is super annoying. But by the time I have cooked a meal and we have eaten it, it is usually so late that I have to get the kids in bed and there is no time to clean it up. So the dishes get left in the sink to be done another time.

My love seat has become the catch-all place that it always has been. And I even swore to myself when we moved that I was not going to let that happen again! But that lasted about a week and then stuff started getting piled up there. The diaper bag, my school books, my purse, box of diapers, coats, just stuff!

I look around my living room as we speak and I see a potty chair, a box of kleenex, a baby doll, rubber boots, books, two Mickey mouse dolls, a Mickey mouse costume, blankets, and a box of clothes I need to take back to my sister...all just sitting in the middle of my floor! I can't stand it.

But here is the problem folks. We go to church Sunday morning and then come home Sunday afternoon and try to get the kids to take a nap (which never works anymore). I try to get a little bit of school work done then, but that usually doesn't work either because the kids are running around causing a ruckus. Then we go back to church Sunday night and come home late, get pajamas on and then beg the kids to go to sleep because we know how early everyone is going to have to get up the next morning.

Then Monday Will goes to work, the kids go to daycare, and I go to clinicals. We all get home after 6 usually and then I have to do school stuff for the next day. Tuesday Will works, kids are at daycare, and I go to school. Again...we don't get home until after 6. So if we are lucky...I cook supper, we eat, and then we try to get the kids in bed. Wednesday...well I already wrote about how busy our Wednesdays are, so refer back to that. Then on Thursday, Will-work, kids are at daycare, and I am at clinicals again. Friday, Will-work, me and the kids home just trying to survive. I usually try to do homework while they play. But it never fails that as soon as I sit down to get something done, someone needs to be wiped, or somebody pooped and needs to be changed, or someone is hungry, or thirsty, or someone hit the other person, or someone wants to go outside, or someone wants to color, or someone wrote on the wall, the carpet, the tv, the fridge, the table (take your pick...they have wrote on EVERYTHING!). So needless to say a whole lot doesn't get done around here those days. Then on Saturday I have to spend the day doing all the school stuff that I didn't get to do during the week. And somewhere in there I am supposed to go to the grocery store, be mother of the year, cook fabulous meals, be the world's greatest wife, clean out my van (oh...you don't even want to look in there), and not yell at my mom everytime she calls (had to throw that one in there Momma...maybe now you can understand why I am not always in the greatest mood). Oh...and we also have to make great family memories for the kids by going places and doing things and just letting them be kids. And I am supposed to potty train my son. And teach my daughter her letters and numbers and how to write her name and how to add and draw shapes...because she loves these things.

I am really at a loss at when all this stuff around the house is supposed to get picked up, cleaned up, or washed. I feel very overwhelmed and I hate coming home to a mess everyday. But I just see no end in sight for it right now.

I have so many papers due in school in the next two weeks that it is borderline ridiculous. I would absolutely love school if all I had to do was sit in class and go to clinicals. But all this other fluff and mess they make us do is crazy. I hate it. Yes...I said hate.

I dream about having a house where you can walk through the living room and not step on something or trip over something. I dream about looking in my kids' rooms and seeing the carpet and not piles of clothes and toys and shoes. I dream about eating supper at our dining room table without first having to scoot all the mess to one side so we can put our plates down. I want to sit little cute things around my house and decorate for the holidays. Life is just so overwhelming right now. So...if anyone wants to come scrub my toilets or wash my dishes, feel free.

Sorry this has been a post where all I have done is rambled and whined. But sometimes I feel like I am about to drown in all of this. And the thing is, Will helps out so much. He does so much more than he should have to do. He already has all the weight on him of providing for us financially...and then I expect him to come home and fill in where I fail.

All I know is that the only way we are going to survive until May 13, 2011 (graduation day) is by God's amazing grace. He is my comfort and my strength. He is the only way I make it through all of this. He allows me to get the things done that I need to get done and makes sure that we are all healthy and clean. And I do not give Him the time He deserves. I do not read my Bible like I should and I feel like I should be doing more for Him. But our God is a forgiving God. A merciful God. He provides for us in ways that I can't even begin to describe.

I know it won't be like this forever. But life is just hard right now. Thanks for being my listening ear.